Why I will never be President of the United States

I just realized: I will never be President of the United States. Not because I am a slacker. I am, but there have been slackers in the White House before. George Bush set the bar low enough to give me hope. Likewise, wispy dreamers were given hope by Carter, and the hopeless socially inarticulate were inspired by Nixon. From that point of view, I have the tri fecta.

But I will never be president: I have a son.

Obama has only daughters. Bush had only daughters. Clinton had only a daughter.

Bush Sr had sons, but they were grown up before he moved in to the White House. Same with Reagan, Nixon, and Ford.

Carter brought a daughter to the White House and so did Lyndon Johnson.

In fact, if you go all the way back to Woodrow Wilson, you will only find one single son in the White House. John Kennedy. And look what happened to him.

I have a son, so I don't want to take any chances. I will never be President.

That, and I'm Canadian.

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