- I just realized that the only people who call me on my land line are telemarketers and my parents. I'm paying $40 a month to let telemarketers call me.
- A conversation with my 5 yr old son, who has to pee.
Ben: Dad, would you watch me?
Me: What, no, I ... okay fine.
Ben: (One hand on his backside, hips thrust forward) (looks me in the eye)
Me: I gotta go
- Nat asked me how to spell curious. I think it's ironic, but I'm from the 90s, so I'm no longer sure.
- On the bus today, I saw a man with a fishing rod. On the commuter bus, at the beginning of the work day, in the middle of the week, in the pouring rain, there was a man with a fishing rod. He was wearing a business suit. He didn't look happy about where he was going.
- For Easter, we are going to have a ham. You know, 'cause Jesus was a jew ...