A conversation as I drove the kids home from summer camp.
BEN: Which would you rather have. An army of fire ants or an army of wasps?
ME: Fire ants.
BEN: That’s stupid.
ME: Wait. Am I being attacked by this army or do I own it?
BEN: You own it.
ME: Then wasps all the way.
NAT: You can use it to sting your enemies with.
ME: You got that right.
NAT: I only got one true enemy.
NAT: Water slides
BEN: Wasps are no good against waterslides, Natalie
NAT: Probably not
This is the pier at Newport Oregon, and those aren't rocks. What looks like a massive pile of grubs is really a massive pile of Sea Lions all of them barking and oorking like they're on the floor of a stock exchange.
We heard them Friday morning from our hotel on the beach. Even though the surf at Newport is very loud we could still hear them in the distance, miles away, and over a hill.
After we found them all congregated on a pier in the bay (just outside the Shellfish Reserve), we found breakfast along Bay Blvd at The Coffee House (yes, that's the name) and our kids each had a pancake so large it spilled off the plate.
Brontosaurus (presiding minister): Do you Toad Frog, take Frog Toad to be your lawfully wedded frog?
Toad Frog: Ribbit.
FNAF Freddy Stuffy: Mazeltov!
Poop Emoji: I always cry at weddings.